This is the one to read. {Goal: Reached}

Ok. So I am the girl who cried blog. I used to be so into this blog. I connected with some great people who were on their own journey right along with me. It helped me so much.

And then I moved. Got caught up in work and life. Met and married a wonderful man. And just got busy. I've been very up and down with my weight loss, losing 20 lbs, then gaining it back probably at least three times.

I wish I had continued on with this blog and stayed connected with the people who encouraged me and helped me. I wish I hadn't put my goal of losing 100lbs on hold at certain times and of course I could have done without the yo yo mess.

If I had, it might be more fulfilling to share the big news with you all (seeing as how I don't know if anyone will even see this)..

But I do have some super exciting news to share....

 

This was the week that I reached my goal...

 

Since my highest weight, I have lost 100 pounds!

 

I started this thing at 250, desperately knowing I needed a change. It hasn't been easy, or fast, but I did it.

I remember when I was blogging, I would follow some bloggers who eventually just bowed out, and I'd be bummed that they either quite on themselves or quite sharing with us how it was going. It was like a story without the ending. And then that's what I did. Sheesh. So I wanted to share my success story since I actually got there. And maybe I'll continue to post because I do feel like I've made a lifestyle change and I vow to not be in a constant cycle of gaining and losing forever. I also really miss this community I used to have.

If you landed on this post, say hi!

Uh oh, jeans are screamin

It happened. The day when you realize you better stop eating so much junk because now your jeans take some effort to get on. And are not comfortable.

But they just came out of the dryer, so...

Ok, it's not the dryer's fault.

But really. I had to do the hop this morning to get into these suckers. And now they are tight and I am very aware of the muffin top.

For those of you who don't know my weight loss story, I used to weigh 250lbs. (180 now) It takes something special to get up that high, specifically ignoring the mirror, thinking that another 10lbs isn't a big deal, and buying bigger sizes whenever the time came.

But NO. Not this time. I refuse to buy a bigger size and just be ok with gaining weight. So this is the turning point. Yeah, I knew I had to lose weight, but seriously, if my jeans aren't fitting, then it is do or die time.

I need to grow up and get serious about myself. I'm going to be 30 in less than 2 months (but that's another crisis for another time). Right now- Get Fit.

The struggle

And so it begins. The struggle.

I should have started the whole healthy eating plan but already had McDonald's for lunch. Which I usually don't even do anyway. My husband and I had a fight last night that just carried over to today and I wanted a Big Mac. Dumb. Counter-productive.

I'm definitely an emotional eater. I've figured out how to control it before, and I need to do that again. But right now, I feel that "I don't care" attitude coming on every time I make a food decision when I'm in a bad mood.

Oh life. It isn't awesome right now. Fighting with my husband sucks. I work for myself doing web content and design (yes, this blog needs a spruce..), but I wonder if I should be working in an office. You know, getting benefits. But my husband works for himself as well and I fear that if we didn't both have the same freedoms, I would resent it. I moved here a few years ago and lost touch with a lot of friends and haven't made many more. I miss the days of having someone who knew me really well and I could talk to. These are the ways I feel like I've lost myself.

Maybe focusing on the weight would be a good alternative to focusing on everyday stresses. Or I need to focus on it all more in an effort to get myself back, ie, fix it all.

Who starts a resolution on the 1st anyway?

Looking through this blog and seeing that my last post was in May makes me a little sad. I used to really enjoy blogging about my weight loss (and other random nonsense). It really helped to have that support. But in the last four years or so, it's gotten away from me.

And... so has my weight! I have basically been losing and gaining the same 10-15 lbs for the last four years. I had done so good and lost 75lbs, but after that, I just got a little too comfortable. I managed to lose 22 lbs for my wedding, but I can safely say that I've found them all again. Sad, really. I need to get off of this cycle and lose the weight for good. What happened to my original goal of losing 100 lbs?

It's come to my attention that I need to "get myself back" again. Not just with the weight, but everything else too. Sometimes we get busy and just lose ourselves in the midst of everything. I want to make time to do things that are important to me. I want to FIND new things that are important to me. Mostly I need to make myself a priority again.

And since I didn't quite have my act together by Jan 1st, might as well get a late start. (I'll convince myself that most people already ditched their resolutions anyway!)

What this looks like for me:

1. I will eat healthy healthy. I know how to do this, it is just a matter of doing it!
2. I will not eat SO healthy that I want to binge or quit. (Lifestyle change!)
3. I will start doing 30 minutes on the elliptical in the mornings.
4. I will read a daily devotional and read corresponding bible verses every morning. This means getting up early enough so I don't have to rush.
5. I will read books that interest and inspire me. First up- A New Earth (an Ekhart Tolle book that I read years ago about being spiritually awakened and living in the present moment)
6. I will start cooking better dinners that are healthy, but not boring.
7. I will blog. If nothing more than to journal about my goals and keep myself accountable.

And there you have it! I'd love to hear from anyone still reading this, and I look forward to making new blogger friends again. I need some fresh blogs to follow. Please feel free to introduce yourself!

Wedding diet update

I haven't blogged in so long. I miss it and I miss the connections I made with so many supportive people. When I first started blogging, it was such a help to have people to connect with and encourage me along the way. I read all of your blogs and enjoyed reading comments from those who read mine. But then I moved, and got busy with friends, a boyfriend, jobs, etc. and just slowly stopped blogging... and stopped focusing on losing weight. I was happy to have lost about 75lbs and just got complacent and felt like I was fine to stay where I was. Even though I didn't meet my 100lb goal. But boy does having my wedding coming up make me motivated enough to get back on the weight loss wagon and drop some pounds.


Since the end of February, I have eaten well and worked out. I use the Lose It! app and count the calories of what I eat. I love the app, and it has kept me organized and accountable about what I eat. (Highly recommend!)

I had reached the 20lbs lost mark last week, but then was in a wedding a drank and ate off plan. That's a nice way of saying I got good and tipsy and ate way too much. So the scale is up again.

My wedding is in 10 days! I am thinking I can stay on this diet (very restricted calories) and lose a couple more before the big day. I don't know if it'll even make a difference, but why stop now. I'm 5'4 so maybe I'll be able to notice a few more pounds lost.

One downside to dieting like this tends to be that I end up being way more critical of myself. Even though I've lost weight, I almost feel worse about myself. Go figure. Anyone else experience this?

Once the wedding is over, I'll start a new lifestyle plan to just eat sensibly, but not be so strict. I'll practice the "everything in moderation" rule and hopefully still get down to the goal weight I had when I first started this - 150.

Attitude toward food during Holidays?

I typically throw caution to the wind during the holidays when it comes to food. Hey, those Christmas cookies don't come out again for another 12 months. And who makes pumpkin pie in July?

I guess right now I have the mentality that I am not really 'on a diet' right now, and that I can eat whatever I want. But at the same time, I'm not going crazy with it. There's a balance between enjoying the holidays and not depriving yourself of all the good food and drinks, and making sure I don't gain 10lbs doing it.

I still have this inner battle about eating good (and only good, i.e., driving myself crazy) and being healthy, eating in moderation and making sure I think of it as a lifestyle change rather than a diet. It's hard to fully change your mentality about this.

 

I've gained back a few pounds from the diet I was on last month, and I do kinda beat myself up about that. So much of the holidays is centered around food and drinks though, and maybe if I can just maintain for a few more weeks, then I'll get down to business. Not sure if that is logical or an excuses...

 

Does it ever get easier? Do emotional eaters ever rid themselves of that inner noise about food?

Won the bet

Not that I really have anyone following this blog anymore (sad...), but I forgot to post the results for the Diet Bet I was doing (bad blogger... sad, again).

But, yes, I did "win" the diet bet.

I had actually hit the goal after 3 weeks, but then had some social stuff, like a party and going camping with friends, that pushed the scale back up. Who doesn't want to get tipsy while camping? The only thing to do out in the woods is eat and drink.. and I guess some other stuff. But the highlight for me is the food and alcohol. That said, I screwed myself a little bit when we got back and the scale was up.

So I took a couple days to be CraZy good, and the day before the weigh in, I had me some salads and then spaghetti squash for dinner, and voilà, hit the goal the next day. Success.

All in all, I really liked the Diet Bet because it pushed me to do it when I normally probably wouldn't have. Money is a great motivator. I had $55 in it and got $85 back. If I had lost, I woulda lost the $55. But it does give you some serious anxiety too. My recommendation is to do it in a month where you have control over what you're going to eat most of the time, which I know some of you may argue that we always have control. But let's not put heavy pressure on ourselves to lose weight when we know we have holiday parties and love all the holiday drinks and desserts and good meals coming up. Ya know?

Less than 24 hours baby

I have to weigh in for the Diet Bet in less than 24 hours. This morning I was at 168.4 before I worked out, and 167.8 after I worked out. I am typically always less after a workout... so I don't know which number to believe. Thoughts?

Either way, I have about 1/2 lb to lose (or more, depending) by tomorrow to not lose my $55. Actually, I think they give you 24 hours to record your final WI, so maybe Wednesday morning.

This weekend was super fun. We went camping with some friends and hiked and ate and drank and laughed and talked. I brought healthy food like rice cakes and dehydrated veggies, but I did drink me some wine. I drank my fair share, let's say. This is why I didn't lose anything this weekend. Luckily though, I didn't gain.

Today's plan is healthy, HEALTHY eating and drinking lots of water. And will work out in the morning. And that scale had better be 167.4 or less. Anything else I can do?

This Diet Bet is awesome. With all my expenses for the wedding/honeymoon/Christmas/life... I really do not want to lose $55, so that is such a great motivator. It is also a little anxiety producing. I think I will do it again, but maybe in January when all the holiday goodness and socializing isn't going to get in the way. Don't get me wrong, I'm not going to stop losing weight, I'm still truckin!

Ugh! One week left

This dietbet thing has got me really focused on the goal. Don't want to lose that money.

But ughhh I'm so over it. This thing breeds anxiety, but it is working because I haven't given up yet. I weigh myself every morning (168.2 today), but I usually do that anyway. Maybe my problem is boredom. I have a banana and yogurt for breakfast every day. I don't snack. I eat salads or something veggie-like for lunch, and then a leaned down dinner, and don't overeat.

I am so glad to push myself out of the 170's because that hasn't happened in about 2 years. But I'm kinda stuck at this 168 number. And I have to be 167.4 to win my diet bet money back - by next Tuesday.

Next Tuesday, is stuffed crust pizza day, and I'm making some dessert. Walmart has a crazy dessert shelf with all these seasonal cake mixes and no-bake goodness. It's happening. Can't wait.

With that said, I am thinking about doing another diet bet just to make me keep that anxiety motivation up.

Date Night and Still Stayed on Plan

So many times I have felt like if I am going out to dinner, going to a party or having people over, especially if drinks are involved, that I just need to make that a cheat day. Because how could I possibly eat healthy in situations like that? Well, I can. I just have to want to.

Last night, the fiancé and I went out to dinner. We had fried pickles as appetizers and I ordered salmon without the glaze and stuff it came with, drank a diet soda, and then we went out for frozen yogurt. I LOVE frozen yogurt. Of course, ice cream is great, but there is just something about a guilt free bowl of fro yo (with peanut butter cups on top) that makes it so much better.

This morning I woke up and worked out, and the scale went down even. It's good to know I can still go out, have fun, eat good and stay on my plan and lose weight. I'm past the point of being bitter I can't eat the junk, and am just motivated by seeing the scale go down. I feel strong and confident that I can do it.