Monday, May 14, 2012

Always an addict?

When I was right in the thick of losing weight and being strict and really making things happen, I was so focused. If you had asked me, I would have said that I would never ever gain weight again. I was going to reach my goal weight and stay within 5 lbs of it. Forever. No doubts about it.

But now that I haven't made my goal weight and have instead gained back 10 of the 80 lbs I had lost, I don't have the same conviction. I'm not that sure anymore.

Don't get me wrong, I want to lose weight and be sure that I will never gain it back again because I know how miserable I was at that weight. I know how my life was back them and how much my weight affected my happiness and every single thing in my life. It wasn't fun and I don't want to go back.

But at what point would it just be easy? Is maintenance easy? Or will I always be this person who is basically susceptible to obesity. Like is it a disease or addiction that will follow me around all my life?

Right now, I've gained some weight and fallen out of the strict "go get it" mentality, and am majorly struggling to get it back. Do I have some gene in me that makes this an issue at least every so often? I want to wholeheartedly believe that I'll never go back to being 250 lbs. But why is there this little voice in my head that is scared I will?

If I changed my lifestyle for a good year or so, why can I not get it back as easily now? Will it ever get easy?


Diandra said...

When you get a dog from the shelter, a rule of thumb is that you will spend the lifespan he has spent on earth so far teaching him better behaviour. I.e. for a two-year-old dog, you would calculate two years for training.

Yeah, I know it's strange comparing oneself to a dog, but bear with me.

How many years have you spent eating poorly? That might give you a good indicator for how long it may take to completely get over this.

The good thing is that you can still get there.

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