Wednesday, January 14, 2015

The struggle

And so it begins. The struggle.

I should have started the whole healthy eating plan but already had McDonald's for lunch. Which I usually don't even do anyway. My husband and I had a fight last night that just carried over to today and I wanted a Big Mac. Dumb. Counter-productive.

I'm definitely an emotional eater. I've figured out how to control it before, and I need to do that again. But right now, I feel that "I don't care" attitude coming on every time I make a food decision when I'm in a bad mood.

Oh life. It isn't awesome right now. Fighting with my husband sucks. I work for myself doing web content and design (yes, this blog needs a spruce..), but I wonder if I should be working in an office. You know, getting benefits. But my husband works for himself as well and I fear that if we didn't both have the same freedoms, I would resent it. I moved here a few years ago and lost touch with a lot of friends and haven't made many more. I miss the days of having someone who knew me really well and I could talk to. These are the ways I feel like I've lost myself.

Maybe focusing on the weight would be a good alternative to focusing on everyday stresses. Or I need to focus on it all more in an effort to get myself back, ie, fix it all.

3 comments:

Emily said...

I just want to say well done for starting again! I know how hopeless I feel when I've gained weight (again!) after having lost a good amount and been so pleased and proud of myself.

I'm in a similar position currently (including not being quite ready to start on 1st January...) and it really helps to know that I'm not the only one.

I really believe that we CAN do this! We can pick ourselves up and carry on, and taking the first step is often the hardest part. So keep at it :)

Alissa (A Journey to Thin) said...

Marriage is hard... But putting the work into it is worth it.

I'm kind of trying to find myself again too. I'm trying to spend time doing things I used to love.

Totally hear you on emotional eating... I used to be able to control it better!

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