The struggle

And so it begins. The struggle.

I should have started the whole healthy eating plan but already had McDonald's for lunch. Which I usually don't even do anyway. My husband and I had a fight last night that just carried over to today and I wanted a Big Mac. Dumb. Counter-productive.

I'm definitely an emotional eater. I've figured out how to control it before, and I need to do that again. But right now, I feel that "I don't care" attitude coming on every time I make a food decision when I'm in a bad mood.

Oh life. It isn't awesome right now. Fighting with my husband sucks. I work for myself doing web content and design (yes, this blog needs a spruce..), but I wonder if I should be working in an office. You know, getting benefits. But my husband works for himself as well and I fear that if we didn't both have the same freedoms, I would resent it. I moved here a few years ago and lost touch with a lot of friends and haven't made many more. I miss the days of having someone who knew me really well and I could talk to. These are the ways I feel like I've lost myself.

Maybe focusing on the weight would be a good alternative to focusing on everyday stresses. Or I need to focus on it all more in an effort to get myself back, ie, fix it all.