For some reason, the minute I tell myself I need to start eating healthy, I can think of nothing else but eating everything in sight. And it's always when I'm by myself too, which tells you just how sick it is. This morning, I ate handfuls of some chocolate cereal and then 2 pop tarts, and then had a healthy lunch with my boyfriend, and then when he left to get some work done, I sat around and ate chips, and then made cupcakes (for my boyfriend and roommate.. yeah, who's buying that one?). I must have ate at least 2 cupcakes in batter alone and then made frosting and ate enough of that too. And then randomly, I ate some deli meat.
What. The. Hell. What is wrong with me??
Obviously I'm an emotional eater. Today almost felt like binging which is scaring me. I will gain all my weight back so easily if I don't get my shit together. This is what happened last time. I just ate whatever random thing all day long to avoid whatever feeling I didn't want to feel. I LEARNED that. So why am I going right back to that bad habit?
Also my jeans are tight. I am in the RED ZONE.
I even worked out for an hour today! Why would I sabotage myself like this? It's like I am actively working against my goal right now. Which is horrible because before, when I didn't think about losing or gaining or anything, I just stayed the same weight. So why all of a sudden, when I make up my mind to lose weight, am I fighting against myself? Ugh, I feel so horrible.