Old habits die pretty darn hard

It's not going to be easy.. but it will be worth it. I need to remember this. I'm struggling. This past weekend was fun, I hung out with my cousins and went out to eat and had family dinner. And.... it killed my diet. I drank way too much one night. I ate bad foods, like ice cream and cookies and chips and guacamole.

And today the scale shows it. 174, which is about 2-3 lbs more than before this weekend. Then today, we have avocado and tostitos still and I had some for lunch, telling myself I was being bad the whole time and not stopping. My mom also sent me home with some cookie cake, you know, "for the boys" (my boyfriend and roommate). They haven't touched it and  I've eaten half. Ugh!

It's hard to feel like I want everything that I can't have. There's not much getting around that so I just need to put blinders on and focus on the goal. The faster I can lose this weight, the better. Then I can live normally and just maintain rather than have to diet and lose. (That's my hope!)

On a side note, are there any new followers or new people who's blog I should check out? I miss blogging back when I had lots of supporters and read everyone's blogs regularly!

Social Eater

This weekend was not so diet-friendly! I had the best intentions, too. It's so difficult to eat healthy when you're just hanging out with friends or family having a good time.

I went out to eat on Saturday and ordered something healthy, so that was fine. But then we had a campfire and I had a s'more and some glasses of wine. (It's kinda hard to have just one glass of wine... but I figure if I drink maybe once a week, that won't kill the diet too much. Right?) And I ate chips and guacamole.. which is probably my favorite snack in the whole world. And yesterday, I did have the bacon, eggs and toast breakfast with my boyfriend that I've been missing. Oh and somewhere in there I had frozen yogurt, with bad Reese's stuff on it.

Today the scale shows that I haven't gained any weight after this weekend, but I suspect it is just dehydration from drinking last night.

Sometimes eating just plays a big role in socializing. I can't wait for the day when I can just eat healthy and then indulge every once in a while and not even really think about it. The whole having fun and eating good food and then immediately feeling guilty afterwards is not fun!

2nd Week's WI

172.2, so I lost 1.3lbs. Not much, but I guess it's to be expected after last week's crazy weigh in.Yesterday, the scale said 171.1. But I did go out to lunch and get a salmon BLT... so maybe that did me in.

I've been eating well tho. I worked out once. I probably need to get back into working out like I used to, every day on the elliptical.

The first few weeks of getting back into the routine of being healthy really do suck. It takes up so much of my thoughts and I hate having to count things and monitor this and that rather than just throwing caution to the wind. Ugh... But it has to be done so this is what I gotta do. And I am waiting for it to become natural and not such a big deal again, like when I was doing well and in a rhythm. And not bitter... :)

Breakfast dilemma

Me and my boyfriend used to always eat breakfast together. We'd make bacon, eggs, and toast. Well now that I am watching what I eat, my breakfasts have gone out the window. Counting Weight Watchers points, each egg is 2 points (and I'd usually have 2), each piece of toast is 2 (I'd have 2) and each piece of bacon is 1 (which I would have 3-4). Plus butter on the toast and used to cook the eggs... That's a lot of points!

The other day, I did have some bacon and made scrambled eggs, using one egg and 2 egg whites. The eggs were bland, so I put some seasoned salt on them, but I do miss my eggs over easy, with toast for the yolks. I also miss just cooking and having breakfast with my man. Lame.

Lately I have yogurt and a piece of fruit (2 pts). I can't really think of any good breakfast foods. Before, I used to always make smoothies, which are good. But other than the whole fruit/ yogurt combo, I don't know what else to make. Any ideas?

I wanted some fried chicken too, damnit

One of the things I have always had trouble with when trying to eat healthy is not giving in when others are eating unhealthy things.

Like this past weekend when my boyfriend went to go rent a movie and brought home strawberries and chocolate to make chocolate covered strawberries. It was so sweet, but I hated it kind of. He knows I've been eating healthy and said, "Diet or no diet, you're having one of these." It was a nice, romantic gesture and all I felt was dread. So I did have one. And watched as he had a bunch...

And then yesterday, it was around lunch time and he ran to the store to get dog food, but came back with a bucket of fried chicken. He came in and made a plate and asked if I wanted anything. I just said no, kind of annoyed-like because obviously I can't eat fried chicken. I was so irritated that I just said I felt like a nap and went into the bedroom.

I know I should just do my own thing, eat the stupid vegetables/ lean protein that I need to and let everyone else (the normal people who don't have to worry about fried batter going right to their muffin top) do their own thing. I'm aware. But...

Bitch session: It just sucks. Why couldn't I have just lost the weight I had to lose and then maintain it and keep it off like a normal person. Why did I have to go and gain weight (when I already had some to lose) and put myself back in this place. I hate losing weight. I hate how much eating habits have an effect on things. Like I can't just be happy that my boyfriend brings me a nice treat.

Week 1 Weigh In.. Kinda Shocking

I don't know if I should call this Week 1 really, but since I'm starting again, it is just the beginning. Again.

For the last 6 months at least (probably more actually), I haven't been working out and I've just been having fun and eating and drinking whatever I want. And I gained 10lbs. Surprise, surprise.

Well, now I'm back at it and there are no if's, and's or but's about it. It is HAPPENING.

I started last Friday, so I guess Fridays will be my WI days.  Last Friday, I was 180.6. Today, shockingly, I am 173.5.

I'm really surprised that I lost 7.1 lbs in a week, but I think it goes to show just how much of a shock my body went through this week when all it was getting was fruit/ veggies and protein rather than chips, alcohol, ice cream and calorie-laden restaurant meals. For me, the first week of being strict with myself has always been the best ones. I think it's just the going from one extreme to the next.

I haven't worked out once this week, either. I've heard that your eating habits are 80% of the losing weight game, so maybe that's true. I'll start working out soon tho.

Current mood: Happy about such a huge loss, but still feeling annoyed with myself for gaining weight in the first place when I was getting so close to my goal.

Without wanting to sound like a broken record...

... I'm at it again. I need to lose this weight. I don't know why I was trying so hard and then just stopped when I got 75% of the way there. In the last 6 months I've gained about 10 lbs - last Friday I weighed in at 180.6.

I am happy to say that today, the scale reads 173.9.

This week has been a good week. And losing that much weight in just a week shows me that I can do it again. I am not helpless and I can take control of this.

Losing weight is such a mind game. Well, my mind is officially and totally, 100% into it again. I feel bad about myself now honestly. I just feel fat and disgusting. Maybe later I'll get into the little reasons why, but right now that is what is pushing me to Just.Do.It.

You've heard it before, but this time I mean it. Again. ;)

PS- I'm sorry for not staying caught up on my favorite blogs. I miss you guys! Hopefully you will come back to me too!