This week's weigh in - 171.1, so I lost about a pound. This is because of last weekend, eating bad and drinking too much. I didn't think I was eating/ drinking that bad but the scale tells a different story. So after Monday, I was basically just trying to undo the damage I did those last 4 days.
I need to start working out more too. I'm getting a little down about it. I want the weight to come off faster, especially if I am typically saying no to everything I want to eat.
Bleh!
Saturday, August 4, 2012
Tuesday, July 31, 2012
Old habits die pretty darn hard
It's not going to be easy.. but it will be worth it. I need to remember this. I'm struggling. This past weekend was fun, I hung out with my cousins and went out to eat and had family dinner. And.... it killed my diet. I drank way too much one night. I ate bad foods, like ice cream and cookies and chips and guacamole.
And today the scale shows it. 174, which is about 2-3 lbs more than before this weekend. Then today, we have avocado and tostitos still and I had some for lunch, telling myself I was being bad the whole time and not stopping. My mom also sent me home with some cookie cake, you know, "for the boys" (my boyfriend and roommate). They haven't touched it and I've eaten half. Ugh!
It's hard to feel like I want everything that I can't have. There's not much getting around that so I just need to put blinders on and focus on the goal. The faster I can lose this weight, the better. Then I can live normally and just maintain rather than have to diet and lose. (That's my hope!)
On a side note, are there any new followers or new people who's blog I should check out? I miss blogging back when I had lots of supporters and read everyone's blogs regularly!
And today the scale shows it. 174, which is about 2-3 lbs more than before this weekend. Then today, we have avocado and tostitos still and I had some for lunch, telling myself I was being bad the whole time and not stopping. My mom also sent me home with some cookie cake, you know, "for the boys" (my boyfriend and roommate). They haven't touched it and I've eaten half. Ugh!
It's hard to feel like I want everything that I can't have. There's not much getting around that so I just need to put blinders on and focus on the goal. The faster I can lose this weight, the better. Then I can live normally and just maintain rather than have to diet and lose. (That's my hope!)
On a side note, are there any new followers or new people who's blog I should check out? I miss blogging back when I had lots of supporters and read everyone's blogs regularly!
Monday, July 30, 2012
Social Eater
This weekend was not so diet-friendly! I had the best intentions, too. It's so difficult to eat healthy when you're just hanging out with friends or family having a good time.
I went out to eat on Saturday and ordered something healthy, so that was fine. But then we had a campfire and I had a s'more and some glasses of wine. (It's kinda hard to have just one glass of wine... but I figure if I drink maybe once a week, that won't kill the diet too much. Right?) And I ate chips and guacamole.. which is probably my favorite snack in the whole world. And yesterday, I did have the bacon, eggs and toast breakfast with my boyfriend that I've been missing. Oh and somewhere in there I had frozen yogurt, with bad Reese's stuff on it.
Today the scale shows that I haven't gained any weight after this weekend, but I suspect it is just dehydration from drinking last night.
Sometimes eating just plays a big role in socializing. I can't wait for the day when I can just eat healthy and then indulge every once in a while and not even really think about it. The whole having fun and eating good food and then immediately feeling guilty afterwards is not fun!
I went out to eat on Saturday and ordered something healthy, so that was fine. But then we had a campfire and I had a s'more and some glasses of wine. (It's kinda hard to have just one glass of wine... but I figure if I drink maybe once a week, that won't kill the diet too much. Right?) And I ate chips and guacamole.. which is probably my favorite snack in the whole world. And yesterday, I did have the bacon, eggs and toast breakfast with my boyfriend that I've been missing. Oh and somewhere in there I had frozen yogurt, with bad Reese's stuff on it.
Today the scale shows that I haven't gained any weight after this weekend, but I suspect it is just dehydration from drinking last night.
Sometimes eating just plays a big role in socializing. I can't wait for the day when I can just eat healthy and then indulge every once in a while and not even really think about it. The whole having fun and eating good food and then immediately feeling guilty afterwards is not fun!
Friday, July 27, 2012
2nd Week's WI
172.2, so I lost 1.3lbs. Not much, but I guess it's to be expected after last week's crazy weigh in.Yesterday, the scale said 171.1. But I did go out to lunch and get a salmon BLT... so maybe that did me in.
I've been eating well tho. I worked out once. I probably need to get back into working out like I used to, every day on the elliptical.
The first few weeks of getting back into the routine of being healthy really do suck. It takes up so much of my thoughts and I hate having to count things and monitor this and that rather than just throwing caution to the wind. Ugh... But it has to be done so this is what I gotta do. And I am waiting for it to become natural and not such a big deal again, like when I was doing well and in a rhythm. And not bitter... :)
I've been eating well tho. I worked out once. I probably need to get back into working out like I used to, every day on the elliptical.
The first few weeks of getting back into the routine of being healthy really do suck. It takes up so much of my thoughts and I hate having to count things and monitor this and that rather than just throwing caution to the wind. Ugh... But it has to be done so this is what I gotta do. And I am waiting for it to become natural and not such a big deal again, like when I was doing well and in a rhythm. And not bitter... :)
Tuesday, July 24, 2012
Breakfast dilemma
Me and my boyfriend used to always eat breakfast together. We'd make bacon, eggs, and toast. Well now that I am watching what I eat, my breakfasts have gone out the window. Counting Weight Watchers points, each egg is 2 points (and I'd usually have 2), each piece of toast is 2 (I'd have 2) and each piece of bacon is 1 (which I would have 3-4). Plus butter on the toast and used to cook the eggs... That's a lot of points!
The other day, I did have some bacon and made scrambled eggs, using one egg and 2 egg whites. The eggs were bland, so I put some seasoned salt on them, but I do miss my eggs over easy, with toast for the yolks. I also miss just cooking and having breakfast with my man. Lame.
Lately I have yogurt and a piece of fruit (2 pts). I can't really think of any good breakfast foods. Before, I used to always make smoothies, which are good. But other than the whole fruit/ yogurt combo, I don't know what else to make. Any ideas?
The other day, I did have some bacon and made scrambled eggs, using one egg and 2 egg whites. The eggs were bland, so I put some seasoned salt on them, but I do miss my eggs over easy, with toast for the yolks. I also miss just cooking and having breakfast with my man. Lame.
Lately I have yogurt and a piece of fruit (2 pts). I can't really think of any good breakfast foods. Before, I used to always make smoothies, which are good. But other than the whole fruit/ yogurt combo, I don't know what else to make. Any ideas?
Monday, July 23, 2012
I wanted some fried chicken too, damnit
One of the things I have always had trouble with when trying to eat healthy is not giving in when others are eating unhealthy things.
Like this past weekend when my boyfriend went to go rent a movie and brought home strawberries and chocolate to make chocolate covered strawberries. It was so sweet, but I hated it kind of. He knows I've been eating healthy and said, "Diet or no diet, you're having one of these." It was a nice, romantic gesture and all I felt was dread. So I did have one. And watched as he had a bunch...
And then yesterday, it was around lunch time and he ran to the store to get dog food, but came back with a bucket of fried chicken. He came in and made a plate and asked if I wanted anything. I just said no, kind of annoyed-like because obviously I can't eat fried chicken. I was so irritated that I just said I felt like a nap and went into the bedroom.
I know I should just do my own thing, eat the stupid vegetables/ lean protein that I need to and let everyone else (the normal people who don't have to worry about fried batter going right to their muffin top) do their own thing. I'm aware. But...
Bitch session: It just sucks. Why couldn't I have just lost the weight I had to lose and then maintain it and keep it off like a normal person. Why did I have to go and gain weight (when I already had some to lose) and put myself back in this place. I hate losing weight. I hate how much eating habits have an effect on things. Like I can't just be happy that my boyfriend brings me a nice treat.
Like this past weekend when my boyfriend went to go rent a movie and brought home strawberries and chocolate to make chocolate covered strawberries. It was so sweet, but I hated it kind of. He knows I've been eating healthy and said, "Diet or no diet, you're having one of these." It was a nice, romantic gesture and all I felt was dread. So I did have one. And watched as he had a bunch...
And then yesterday, it was around lunch time and he ran to the store to get dog food, but came back with a bucket of fried chicken. He came in and made a plate and asked if I wanted anything. I just said no, kind of annoyed-like because obviously I can't eat fried chicken. I was so irritated that I just said I felt like a nap and went into the bedroom.
I know I should just do my own thing, eat the stupid vegetables/ lean protein that I need to and let everyone else (the normal people who don't have to worry about fried batter going right to their muffin top) do their own thing. I'm aware. But...
Friday, July 20, 2012
Week 1 Weigh In.. Kinda Shocking
I don't know if I should call this Week 1 really, but since I'm starting again, it is just the beginning. Again.
For the last 6 months at least (probably more actually), I haven't been working out and I've just been having fun and eating and drinking whatever I want. And I gained 10lbs. Surprise, surprise.
Well, now I'm back at it and there are no if's, and's or but's about it. It is HAPPENING.
I started last Friday, so I guess Fridays will be my WI days. Last Friday, I was 180.6. Today, shockingly, I am 173.5.
I'm really surprised that I lost 7.1 lbs in a week, but I think it goes to show just how much of a shock my body went through this week when all it was getting was fruit/ veggies and protein rather than chips, alcohol, ice cream and calorie-laden restaurant meals. For me, the first week of being strict with myself has always been the best ones. I think it's just the going from one extreme to the next.
I haven't worked out once this week, either. I've heard that your eating habits are 80% of the losing weight game, so maybe that's true. I'll start working out soon tho.
Current mood: Happy about such a huge loss, but still feeling annoyed with myself for gaining weight in the first place when I was getting so close to my goal.
For the last 6 months at least (probably more actually), I haven't been working out and I've just been having fun and eating and drinking whatever I want. And I gained 10lbs. Surprise, surprise.
Well, now I'm back at it and there are no if's, and's or but's about it. It is HAPPENING.
I started last Friday, so I guess Fridays will be my WI days. Last Friday, I was 180.6. Today, shockingly, I am 173.5.
I'm really surprised that I lost 7.1 lbs in a week, but I think it goes to show just how much of a shock my body went through this week when all it was getting was fruit/ veggies and protein rather than chips, alcohol, ice cream and calorie-laden restaurant meals. For me, the first week of being strict with myself has always been the best ones. I think it's just the going from one extreme to the next.
I haven't worked out once this week, either. I've heard that your eating habits are 80% of the losing weight game, so maybe that's true. I'll start working out soon tho.
Current mood: Happy about such a huge loss, but still feeling annoyed with myself for gaining weight in the first place when I was getting so close to my goal.
Thursday, July 19, 2012
Without wanting to sound like a broken record...
... I'm at it again. I need to lose this weight. I don't know why I was trying so hard and then just stopped when I got 75% of the way there. In the last 6 months I've gained about 10 lbs - last Friday I weighed in at 180.6.
I am happy to say that today, the scale reads 173.9.
This week has been a good week. And losing that much weight in just a week shows me that I can do it again. I am not helpless and I can take control of this.
Losing weight is such a mind game. Well, my mind is officially and totally, 100% into it again. I feel bad about myself now honestly. I just feel fat and disgusting. Maybe later I'll get into the little reasons why, but right now that is what is pushing me to Just.Do.It.
You've heard it before, but this time I mean it. Again. ;)
PS- I'm sorry for not staying caught up on my favorite blogs. I miss you guys! Hopefully you will come back to me too!
I am happy to say that today, the scale reads 173.9.
This week has been a good week. And losing that much weight in just a week shows me that I can do it again. I am not helpless and I can take control of this.
Losing weight is such a mind game. Well, my mind is officially and totally, 100% into it again. I feel bad about myself now honestly. I just feel fat and disgusting. Maybe later I'll get into the little reasons why, but right now that is what is pushing me to Just.Do.It.
You've heard it before, but this time I mean it. Again. ;)
PS- I'm sorry for not staying caught up on my favorite blogs. I miss you guys! Hopefully you will come back to me too!
Wednesday, May 16, 2012
It has officially caught up to me
I stepped on the scale today. I now weigh 181. Yep, I am back into the 180s. After getting to the 160s. I am sickened. What did I expect to happen? I went from eating totally clean with very little "cheating" to eating whatever I felt like. Which, especially living with a guy who can eat anything and not gain weight, is mostly unhealthy stuff.
Ice cream, chips, pizza, wine, tacos, cupcakes, frosting, wine, grilled cheese sandwiches, pasta, wine. And I thought I wouldn't get up to 180? Or was I trying to get up here?
That's what is really eating me right now. Am I sabotaging myself? Why am I doing this to myself and not stopping? Like it wasn't going to catch up to me. Well it is officially caught up. I've gained over 10 lbs and my pants are fitting a little tighter. Shirts I used to feel comfortable in are now in the back of the closet. I'm so mad and disappointed in myself. @#$%^*&^%$#!!!
Ice cream, chips, pizza, wine, tacos, cupcakes, frosting, wine, grilled cheese sandwiches, pasta, wine. And I thought I wouldn't get up to 180? Or was I trying to get up here?
That's what is really eating me right now. Am I sabotaging myself? Why am I doing this to myself and not stopping? Like it wasn't going to catch up to me. Well it is officially caught up. I've gained over 10 lbs and my pants are fitting a little tighter. Shirts I used to feel comfortable in are now in the back of the closet. I'm so mad and disappointed in myself. @#$%^*&^%$#!!!
Monday, May 14, 2012
Always an addict?
When I was right in the thick of losing weight and being strict and really making things happen, I was so focused. If you had asked me, I would have said that I would never ever gain weight again. I was going to reach my goal weight and stay within 5 lbs of it. Forever. No doubts about it.
But now that I haven't made my goal weight and have instead gained back 10 of the 80 lbs I had lost, I don't have the same conviction. I'm not that sure anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I want to lose weight and be sure that I will never gain it back again because I know how miserable I was at that weight. I know how my life was back them and how much my weight affected my happiness and every single thing in my life. It wasn't fun and I don't want to go back.
But at what point would it just be easy? Is maintenance easy? Or will I always be this person who is basically susceptible to obesity. Like is it a disease or addiction that will follow me around all my life?
Right now, I've gained some weight and fallen out of the strict "go get it" mentality, and am majorly struggling to get it back. Do I have some gene in me that makes this an issue at least every so often? I want to wholeheartedly believe that I'll never go back to being 250 lbs. But why is there this little voice in my head that is scared I will?
If I changed my lifestyle for a good year or so, why can I not get it back as easily now? Will it ever get easy?
But now that I haven't made my goal weight and have instead gained back 10 of the 80 lbs I had lost, I don't have the same conviction. I'm not that sure anymore.
Don't get me wrong, I want to lose weight and be sure that I will never gain it back again because I know how miserable I was at that weight. I know how my life was back them and how much my weight affected my happiness and every single thing in my life. It wasn't fun and I don't want to go back.
But at what point would it just be easy? Is maintenance easy? Or will I always be this person who is basically susceptible to obesity. Like is it a disease or addiction that will follow me around all my life?
Right now, I've gained some weight and fallen out of the strict "go get it" mentality, and am majorly struggling to get it back. Do I have some gene in me that makes this an issue at least every so often? I want to wholeheartedly believe that I'll never go back to being 250 lbs. But why is there this little voice in my head that is scared I will?
If I changed my lifestyle for a good year or so, why can I not get it back as easily now? Will it ever get easy?
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