That stupid 30 day shred piece of crap workout kicked my ass so hard. I can't walk. I can't sit down. I can't stand up. I can't do stairs. It's so sad, I'm walking around like an old lady today.
I wasn't going to do the elliptical (and hell no was I going to do the shred again), but then I had something that triggered my need to get aggression out... while at the same time making me want to eat an entire pizza. (How's that for emotional eating?)
My ex emailed me. He has a new girlfriend, but apparently still wants to be friends (read: keep me on the back burner). We were together for a long time and I know he still thinks fate (or some other bullshit) will bring us back together again. But once you break up for like, the 4th time, that's probably not wise to go thru again. It's just very frustrating to hear from him when he has a girlfriend yet still wants to make sure I don't move on. I'm going to respond something nice, but something to the effect that we can't talk anymore. I think a huge part of why I lost myself had to do with this relationship. Maybe I always knew it wasn't right, but I felt like we were together for so long that I shouldn't just throw it away. I was unhappy and lonely, I made my entire life about him, and I definitely used food as a drug to try to ignore those feelings and the fact that I was so unhappy with my life. It's so hard to love someone and miss them, but know that it's just not in your best interest to have them in your life. So for once in a long, long time, I am putting myself first and focusing on what is good for me.
I didn't order that pizza, but I did workout - listening to angry girl music. :) I'm not letting anything derail me right now, especially him.