Monday, July 11, 2011

Self-conscious + Dating = Stress

Right before I moved, I got on an online dating site and actually started talking to this one guy who seemed really cool! I was surprised I actually met someone that I would want to meet so soon.

But I met him this past weekend and I like him! He seems really sweet, texts me multiple times a day, and wants to hang out again. He's nice and funny and cute. It's all good.

But here's the thing. Dating when I feel so self-conscious about my body is so nerve wrecking. I'm constantly thinking about what I look like, if I look fat.

It takes me forever to find an outfit to wear. I even sit down in front of a mirror so I can see how my stomach looks in different tops! And of course it never looks good.

And it's summertime now and I don't wear shorts. He has mentioned going hiking, and I feel like I'm not one of those girls who can throw on some cute khaki shorts and a tank top and head out for a nice hike up the mountain.

And God forbid he wants to go swimming or to the lake where I would have to wear a swim suit, which he has mentioned. Horrible...

I wish I could get out of my head and just be one of those super confident girls no matter what they look like. I do feel better about my body now that I've lost weight, but I still feel so insecure. I know I should just realize that he is interested, and therefore finds me attractive, so I should just relax, but it is easier said than done.


Baby Weight and Beyond said...

That is awesome that you met someone! I am married and I still feel like that when I am getting dressed. You don't have to wear khakis and a tank top to hike - just find something that you are comfortable in! I also just checked out your WI tab and you are amazing!

Diandra said...

Cool! Meeting nice people, even if nothing more comes from it, is great!

Don't worry too much about what you look like. I mean, he has already seen you and wants to hang out again - so what is the worst thing that could happen?

(By the way, hiking in shorts is a pretty stupid idea anyway, increased risk of injuries and such. ^^ )

safire said...

He's into you! I think take a chance and see where it goes. I let my weight hold me back for years!

Losing It said...

First off, I understand your self conscious side. We all have one. Sounds like he's already into you. Sounds like he's also an active guy, which is just perfect! Just be yourself and try not to worry so much. If he's the type that would run away after seeing you in shorts the first time, maybe he's not that great anyway and it will save you time in the long run.

I have a feeling it won't matter though, you'll have a great time and who knows what can happen?

Mer and Mo said...

A missed opportunity is what I say. What is the worst that can happen? Dating is so much fun, but as woman we totally overthink everything. Just enjoy the moment. Take it one step at a time and if you do go through about 50 outfits before a "date" then that is ok - but YOU have to feel confident and not worry what others will think about your outfit. If you feel good, they will feel good with you. Smile, laugh and enjoy the dating - the confidence will grow!! Wishing you much luck!!!


Kelty said...

Think about what you would regret more. Would you regret taking a chance and going on a hike and it leading nowhere maybe more than you would regret not giving it a chance because of your weight?! You're at a place in your life where you're trying to break free from the hold your weight has had on you...and that's not going to happen instantly. It's going to take time, risks, and chances. I say GO FOR IT! And either way, at least you'll know you didn't let the stupid weight be the thing holding you back!

downsizers said...

Didn't you undertake this weight loss journey so that you would have a new and better life? Well, here it is toots. It's an adventure for you and this new guy may be the one to help you feel better about yourself. I say go for it, be open, and let it happen.