Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Telling new people about your weight loss

Obviously the people in my life know about my weight loss because they can just see it. I have only told a few people the actual number of how much I've lost. And I even surprised myself by telling my parents my actual weight. But they're the only ones! I think it's good to talk about fitness and weight loss and what you're doing that works or to talk about the struggles and everything with friends.

But what about new people you just met? Do you tell them, "Hey, I used to weigh 250, but I've lost 75 lbs so far."

Let's talk it out...

Would it just be bragging? Yeah, I am proud that I have lost this weight, but I am equally not proud that I let myself gain it in the first place. So for me, it wouldn't be to brag or boast about how far I've come, but I wouldn't want someone else to think that it was.

Would it draw unnecessary attention to my weight? I don't like drawing attention to my body. Let's just not bring it up, ya know? When you start talking about your weight (whether you are overweight or not) it just makes the person look at your body and assess it basically. No thanks. I'd rather it almost be a non-issue than making it the center of a conversation.

Would it make people think different of me? Would they think I have bad self-control or think of me as the girl who used to be fat? Maybe that would be how they defined me.

Or would it help people understand me and get to know me better? Would they understand why I hate bathing suits (doesn't everyone tho?)?  Or understand why I'm self-conscious or not comfortable sometimes?

I also think it's different when you are talking to a girl or a guy. Girls would be easier to tell because they can understand weight issues, and women just relate to each other differently. But with guys, I would worry that they would immediately start judging me. Especially a guy I am dating... isn't huge weight gain even if you lose it, a turn off?

Also it's about timing. Obviously it's not something you bring up in the first conversation or anything, and you can just talk about it when the time feels right or with the right person.

Maybe it's not even that big of a deal! Tell people you want to tell, don't tell those you don't. Whatever!

What do you guys think? What has been your experience?


Jodie said...

I don't think I would necessarily bring it up if it was someone who hasn't known me fat and seen the transformation...unless I was trying to encourage someone who had the same struggles. But if someone tells me I look good or says "You've lost a lot of weight, I don't mind telling them necessarily. I've found only praise from people, because i think everyone knows how hard it is to be disciplined.

Mer and Mo said...

Yes, I agree that there is a time and place to say this. It also does depend who you tell and when and why. In your case, as you are dating this new guy, I am sure you will find a time, place and reason to tell him. You should not feel like you are being judged or wonder what they might be thinking about you and how you used to be. When you do tell someone, make sure you have a BIG smile on your face and be PROUD of what you have accomplished!! If you dwell on bragging or not, what they think or not think, then you are not enjoying the fruits of your labor, so to speak.

I also agree with Jodie - not necessarily bring it up, but if it does come up (because they said something or inquired), then be proud to tell them

Staying MOtivated MO

downsizers said...

Thank you for this post. I had never really thought of it too much. I have weighed 250 lbs. before and got down to my goal weight twice with Weight Watchers and here I have to lose it again. When I get the weight off this time I think I will just keep it to myself with new people unless it comes up but I do think I was bragging before, fishing for compliments - hadn't really realized that until reading your post. I just want to be like all the naturally slim people I know who don't fight fat like I have always had to do. I just now decided not to make a big deal out of it. Thanx! for helping me realize this.

Hyla said...

It is weird for me to tell people because well like when I went to a new doctor yesterday, we were talking about a proceedure and I was wondering about weight gain and I told her because I was losing weight and had already lost 60 pounds to date and I kinda rushed over that part. And she commented, wow that is great! but I didnt even respond to her question because it doesnt feel real to me, that number is so high, you know?

I did just tell someone in one of my new classes because she mentioned being uncomfortable with her weight and I was trying to motivate her and tell her what worked for me, than I didnt feel uncomfortable talking about it.

I have only gotten praise not judged. I think it takes a determined spirit and a disciplined person to make such a transformation the only judging that would take place would be positively powerful!

Jan said...

The weight that you gained is in the past. You are creating a new future for yourself that includes the 75 pounds you've lost so far and whatever else comes after that. Own it, you deserve to have credit for all of your hard work. I say you tell people what you use to weigh. If anyone looks at you differently, it's only because they're in awe of what you've done, not that you once weighed "x" amount. If you're not comfortable telling people what you use to weigh, own how much you've lost. They can make their own thoughts about what they think you use to weigh. Who cares. The point is that you're actively trying to lose weight and have already lost 75 pounds. Go you! :)

Diandra said...

Well, it certainly isn't the first thing about me that I tell new people, because my weight is nothing that would be defining or even important for my personality. If they ask, I may say something, or if we happen to look at old pictures (I've got one or two in my office at home and online). But, honestly, I often forget it myself. ^^

And: 75lbs??? Wow!!!

Gen said...

Personally this hasn't happened to me yet (since I haven't lost weight in a long time!), but usually I don't like bringing up my weight at all. Unless maybe it fit into the conversation or it was something I felt I needed to tell someone (i.e. to explain myself). What I do know however is that telling someone you have lost 75lbs wouldn't make them see you any differently except than being really impressed you were able to do that! I don't think anyone would think about "well why was she weighing 75lbs more in the first place?" Stuff happens, everybody knows that, but not everyone has the strength to come back from it.