I don't talk about my weight much with friends and family. Well, now I do (a little) since I'm on a fairly strict weight loss plan and people have noticed. But definitely not the actual number. No sirree bob.
Until today. My parents were talking about how much I've lost (I did tell them that much). And I asked if they wanted to know what I weigh and what I started at, but that if they told anyone I'd kill them. Half joking. ;)
The conversation went like this...
Me: Ok, so what do you think I weighed when I started? [When I first moved home in Aug.]
Mom: Oh, I don't know. 200?
Me: [An "are you serious?" look]
Mom: More?
Me: [Nods head]
Mom: 210?
Me: [Eyebrow raise]
Dad: More??
Mom: 230.
Me: [Eyebrow raise]
Mom: 250?
Me: [Nods head]
Dad: Hoooly shit!
Me: I know! [Slams head down on table]
So now they know. We talked a little bit about how they wouldn't have guessed I was that much, but that it was obviously due to how my life was and that I was unhappy. A lil bit ago, I wrote more about the "why", if you're interested.
My dad admitted that when I would come home every so often, he would notice that I kept gaining weight but didn't want to say anything. I told him he now has permission to call me out on it if it ever happens again. It was a little embarrassing, but I'm glad I told them because now they can help me stay on track and I can be accountable to them too. I told them I want to be down to 150, so if I don't get there, they'll know I gave up, and I don't want to do that, so there's no other choice but to make it happen.
In other news... along with 30 mins on the elliptical, my workout today was a 45 min P90X DVD- the Cardio X one. It was hard, but I did like it. I was able to get thru it with little swearing, which is nice. There are a bunch of different cardio-type exercises that are broken up into 30-90 seconds and don't require too much coordination. Overall I'm a fan. However, there were two exercises that I didn't do, where I just stood and stared at the TV with my mouth open. This is one of them... pretty sure I'd end up in the hospital if I tried this one. (You'll get the gist in 4 seconds)
Attitude of Gratitude: I'm grateful to have helpful, encouraging parents, especially since I am living with them right now, because your environment makes a huge difference.
19 comments:
Its great you CAN talk to your parents ...I can't remember the last time anyone on the planet knew my actual weight, me included however this will be very very good for the accountability.
Well done!
Dawn
I won't tell my family but I will talk to you guys that are complete strangers...but all my family are little skinny people who do not emotionally eat. My mom is petite and eats everything she wants, same for my brother, Dad isn't fat either, but he is a tall, large man. I am glad you can talk to them. It would be good to be able to but I can just see my little mother swooning to know I almost weighed 240 and and am now battling to get under 200. She weighs 130 MAYBE.
That is awesome that you were able to be honest with your parents. I have never done that with anyone but my husband.
Just wait - you will be doing that in no time!
That's great that you told your parents about your weight. You're doing a great job and you should be proud!
That's great you talked with your parents....and OMG, I would be in the bed next to you if I did that exercise...is that really a exercise people do??
My parents were never, ever judgmental about my weight, but dad, after he had some strokes and his brain was turning to mush and he turned infantile, would look at me like I was the biggest diamond in the universe (ie, the I ADORE MY DAUGHTER LOOK), then say, "Wow, you're so fat. My daughter is so big," but never with malice. It was just like this wide-eyed wonder of an observation that you couldn't take offense at.
In contrast to you, I always was totally open with my size. When I was 299 pounds, I said it. 270 said it. Said it loud. Said it often. To me, it was a way of being self-accountable. I don't believe in lying about age or weight (what good does that do anyway?) and would only do so if it was critical to survival. It's not for me. I need to be honest. I'd just say, "Yeah, me, X pounds. I eat like a pig and my thyroid doesn't work. Bad combo."
It disarms people. They can't really hide about that. I put it out there...there it is. I'm fat and know it. No secret.
I miss my parents. That sort of totally open love is something you always want to keep and hold.... Enjoy yours a lot. Smooch them a lot. :)
And stop banging your head. Your weight is not your defining factor. Hiding it can make it a bigger elephant in the room. Own it as you change it!
Later,
You're lucky your parents aren't judgmental about your weight. They could have been bugging you relentlessly about it and that wouldn't have helped you either. I think you have very special parents and good for you for opening up to them. Even if someone doesn't know what you weigh, it's quite obvious, isn't it?
I know just what you mean. My boyfriend recently asked me how many pounds I had to lose to get to my goal weight (he did not ask my weight or my GW). I wouldn't tell him. He took a wild guess and said 15! haha. Compliment maybe? Try more like 60!
Ugh, My weigh was on tV when i did the contest over the summer with our local news. But even having that number on tv for everyone to seen has not made it easier to talk about. good for you!
I'm not saying a word until I'm 20 lbs from goal!
So funny. I had that exact weight conversation with my Dad. Turned out that he was 6 inches taller than me and the same weight. Ouch.
After 10 seconds of that video I was laughing my head off. Assuming I could even get my ass off the ground, I would have broken my neck!
The only reason I can divulge my weight on my blog is because I wouldn't have to look at any of the people who read it face-to-face! Even when I was 180lbs, I didn't want people to know how much I weighed. I think the only way I'll be comfortable telling people around me how much I weigh is if I lose all of it, then I can't be judged on it. I think it's really great you could tell your parents and I bet it makes it a lot less scary!
Also, is it ok that I was laughing through that whole video? I mean, people don't actually do that, do they??
That's a biiig problem these days... that no one wants to say anything, even if they clearly see a person is messing up his or her life... it is the same with unhealthy relationships or self-abusive behavior other than overeating... "I didn't want any confrontations!" Makes me wonder why people would let others be(come) unhappy and ill only to keep their own peace...
I don't share my weight with anyone except for my husband and blogland. My mom and sister have an idea of how much I weigh because we are all similar in size, but I have never confirmed the number. I am proud you were able to share.
Now you should have that freeing feeling of having shared that with the folks and gotten such great feedback from them. Yay you!!
I found it to be a great feeling afterwards when I first told my family how much I weighed. It wasn't until I lost about 50 pounds that I was bold enough to tell my family. Not even my husband of 8 years ever knew. It wasn't because I didn't think they'd be supportive, I was just too embarrassed to say anything to anyone.
Great job with the workouts!! And re: telling your weight, I think everyone has different ideas of what is or isn't okay. It's all about your own journey!!
That's awesome that you have a good relationship with your parents. Healthy relationships are key in the weight loss biz. Love the video! I think I'll try it today. lol!
I hate when my mom comments on my weight. In the past years, it is only when I have lost. But since I am a yo-yo dieter, that means that if she notices I've lost she is also noticing I've gained:(
I started at 250 too, and it was scary talking about actual numbers at first. But it's just a number, and it's changing. That's all that matters :) I do think having your parents in your cheering section is a great tool though! My whole office knows I'm about to break 200- it's kinda nice knowing people are pulling for you :)
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