Have you ever had someone in your life who seems to want the worst for you? Even if they don't make it obvious? I am honestly starting to feel like my sister is so competitive with me and wants so much to be better than me that she literally doesn't want good things to happen to me. When I broke up with my ex and was feeling all down, she just talked and talked about her (now ex) boyfriend and what they were doing and saying. It's like when I am down, she makes a big point of being happy. When I say anything about being bad at something, she says how good she is.
And now I'm seeing it with my weight loss. I've lost 50 lbs in the last 7 months. It's noticeable. Yet she hasn't said one word about it. Instead, she constantly talks about food and tries to get me to eat the fattiest things.
Every time she comes home, she suggests dinners, lunches, snacks, appetizers for us all to eat that are so high calorie. I'm telling you; she eats like every meal is her last. She turns her nose up to Bagel Thins because they are "thin" or "diet food". Every time we are together, and have to eat together, I literally see it as a weight loss challenge.
It's really sad, but I think she would like it if I stayed fat. I feel like she is trying to sabotage me. She's always been the skinny one who can eat tons of food all the time (and does) and never gains weight. I've been the funny one, the one with better grades in college, the one who has better conversations with my parents, more funny childhood memories, who's had more friends than her, whatever. That sounds very shitty to say, I know. But what she's always had going for her is being thinner and therefore, prettier. She knows it; she wears the tightest, skimpiest clothes regardless of where we are going. A halter top and hooker boots just to go to the grocery store, sure. So what if I get thin too?
I've thought that maybe I'm just bitter and jealous that she eats whatever she wants all day long and can still stay skinny and that I need to just do my own thing and not compare myself to her. But that's not it. I was really trying not to think so negatively about her, but I just feel like it's glaringly obvious now. Maybe that's what spending 8 days straight with her did to me. (Well beyond our typical relationship shelf life, if you know what I mean).
Oh well, what am I going to do? Nothing. Ignore her. Focus on myself. Stay motivated to lose weight for myself.
Attitude of Gratitude: I'm grateful that it's warm enough outside that I can finally take the dogs for a walk.