This week has been very blah and frustrating. Today was even more so as my ex-boyfriend once again has been contacting me and today told me that he can't stop thinking about me. I don't want to hear that. I am at a place where I honestly feel like I am over the relationship, and I haven't been able to feel that for so long. I also feel an element of an addiction with him, like if we talk, I could get sucked back in again. We were so on and off that it's a relationship that is just not right.
Anyway, all day I have felt like eating. I literally just wanted pizza, then ice cream, then went to the grocery store and wanted donuts, cookies, muffins, like everything I walked by. I didn't get any, don't worry. (And this is after I just wrote about not having cravings!) But it dawned on me that the reason I was thinking so much about food and wanting to eat all that was strictly emotional. I was obviously thinking about my ex and feeling strong uncomfortable emotions about it and wanted to avoid that.
In the past, that's when I would just focus on what I should eat, but now I don't (or very rarely) allow myself to eat all that junk, so instead I am just stuck with the feelings. And that's ok. If you don't let a feeling start, you also don't let it end. I will be fine. Everything will be fine. I will deal with this as an adult, in a healthy way and be just fine.
C25k: I did Wk2, Day 3 today. Still don't like it. A couple times I stopped running 10-20 seconds before I was supposed to, which sadly means running for 90 seconds is still difficult for me. Run time was 10:16 tho so I'm moving faster at least.
Attitude of Gratitude: "Awareness and compulsion cannot coexist." (A quote from the book, Women, Food and God) I'm grateful to be aware.