Friday, April 29, 2011

Emotional eating still an issue

This week has been very blah and frustrating. Today was even more so as my ex-boyfriend once again has been contacting me and today told me that he can't stop thinking about me. I don't want to hear that. I am at a place where I honestly feel like I am over the relationship, and I haven't been able to feel that for so long. I also feel an element of an addiction with him, like if we talk, I could get sucked back in again. We were so on and off that it's a relationship that is just not right.

Anyway, all day I have felt like eating. I literally just wanted pizza, then ice cream, then went to the grocery store and wanted donuts, cookies, muffins, like everything I walked by. I didn't get any, don't worry. (And this is after I just wrote about not having cravings!) But it dawned on me that the reason I was thinking so much about food and wanting to eat all that was strictly emotional. I was obviously thinking about my ex and feeling strong uncomfortable emotions about it and wanted to avoid that.

In the past, that's when I would just focus on what I should eat, but now I don't (or very rarely) allow myself to eat all that junk, so instead I am just stuck with the feelings. And that's ok. If you don't let a feeling start, you also don't let it end. I will be fine. Everything will be fine. I will deal with this as an adult, in a healthy way and be just fine.

C25k: I did Wk2, Day 3 today. Still don't like it. A couple times I stopped running 10-20 seconds before I was supposed to, which sadly means running for 90 seconds is still difficult for me. Run time was 10:16 tho so I'm moving faster at least.

Attitude of Gratitude: "Awareness and compulsion cannot coexist." (A quote from the book, Women, Food and God) I'm grateful to be aware.

9 comments:

Hyla said...

Congratulations on overcoming the hurdle of emotional eating today! AND ignoring the ex! Those are two GREAT steps!

downsizers said...

Overeating would just add another problem; it won't solve a thing. Good for you that you recognized what was going on. You were misinterpreting an emotion for hunger. Well done.

ThunderThighs said...

Emotional eating, wow do I know what you mean! Good for you for not falling for it. I wish I had your motivation and determination! And as for the ex, men are just plain idiots. Don't be frustrated, he's probably not worth it (I have to say probably because I don't know your situation, but in general very few men are actually worth it).

Baby Weight and Beyond said...

It's awesome that you were able to walk away!

Alissa (A Journey to Thin) said...

I struggle with emotional eating too. But I think what's most important is when you realize that you are doing it- because then you can make the decision to stop.

And I'd say if your ex is causing you to eat out of emotion- he's probably not good for you!!

Ann said...

Wow - I'm so sorry that you're having to deal with this, but I'm glad you acknowledged your feelings and did NOT use food instead of facing them. I have felt this SO MANY TIMES - having to "feel your feelings" - whether they be sad, uncomfortable, angry, upset, stressed, etc. instead of turning to food. You are NOT alone - I've been through this, too. But you are STRONG and you are AMAZING. Great job - so proud of you!

Gen said...

It took me so much time to realize that cravings were mostly emotional. This was a huge accomplishment today being conscious of that and not giving in!
I'm getting new running shoes tomorrow and will be starting week 2 of C25K shortly! I think it will feel nice to get some exercise in again, it's been a while!

Dawn said...

I totally get how hard it must be to walk away from the ex. You did really well recognising this isn't right for you...Wonderful. WHat an achievement
Dawn

Brendalyn said...

I'm with the rest here, and totally agree with Alissa, if he is causing you to want to want to emotional eat, he probably isn't good for you. Funny how just when we get to a point where we are over something, or someone, and know that being over it/them is the right thing it/they appear again. I hate that.
Great job on saying no to all those things that you were wanting. If and when you eat that stuff it will be because you have made a decision, not because you are having it to mask something confusing, or unpleasant.